What a privilege to be at Capernwray and to have some time to reflect on the past several months. Straight after I finished medical school I started with my first job as a young doctor at the intensive care unit and I enjoyed it a lot. But at the same time, it has been tough. There was a high cost to my busy and demanding schedule. I wasn’t able to pay enough attention to the most important things in my life. First of all my relationship with God slid back. I found no rest to spend quality time with God. I prayed only in the few spare moments that I had, for instance during my drive to work. Also I found no time to read my Bible. Since I had to work many Sundays, I couldn’t attend my church on these days. I felt alone in my walk with God. Furthermore it was hard to find time to spend with my family and friends, let alone for exercise. My life became more and more a pitiful combination of working, eating and sleeping. When I came home, I had no energy to prepare a proper meal; I ate food I could prepare quickly (I would almost use the term fast-food, but that would be too shocking…). In the evening I watched the TV. And then I went to sleep for a couple of hours.
While I am here, I have started to realise this is not the way I want to live my life. Life is not all about working. Yes, I like my work. I am passionate to offer patients excellent healthcare. I want to give the best of myself as a doctor and a human being. I believe my patients deserve my full attention and my genuine respect. But how am I supposed to be a devoted doctor if I live a life that is unhealthy and draining?
Yesterday I read an article in Student British Medical Journal. It was called ‘Give us a break – working hours and mental health need more attention’ (November 2009, page 404). Jennifer Price, a trainee in vascular surgery, wrote very honestly about her struggle with mental illness. Concerning the continuation of her study she got the advice to either quit medicine or just get on being a doctor. There seemed to be no way in between these options. She was determined to find a way to become a doctor so she sought for alternative options to those suggested. Then she found out that she could apply for a less than full time (LTFT) training program in the United Kingdom. This program gave her the opportunity to finish her psychotherapy, to take time for reflection and to spend time with friends and family.
Price argues that ‘doctors work too many hours and spend little time at home: relationships suffer, exercise decreases and loneliness abounds.’ She suggests that this could contribute to self medication, alcohol and drugs problems amongst doctors. She states: ‘Although conditions or doctors have improved over the past decade, I recognise a persisting mindset that in becoming doctors we accept responsibility to put our profession ahead of our personal needs.’
This article was an encouragement for me. Often I feel little acknowledgement when I express my uncertainties about my career as a doctor. Many seem to be afraid for the judgement of collegues and the consequences for their CV. I think Price’s statements are sound. We get training in an environment that asks us to give all we have. If we either don’t want or are not able to give all we have in our profession we are considered to be unmotivated and not enough devoted. There is little room for our own needs, uncertainties and weaknesses.
I wonder why we are so inconsistent when it comes to our standards. Many doctors have the legitimate feeling that they cannot motivate their patients for quitting smoking if they keep smoking themselves. However, we try to motivate patients to have a healthy, balanced lifestyle while we are unable to live a balanced and healthy life ourselves.
The Maker of the universe took time to rest after He had performed an enormous job. He taught his people in the early ages to take enough rest and to remember the previous years in slavery. They got the opportunity to celebrate their freedom every week. Jesus took time to rest once in a while. Therefore I am convinced that God made us thrive by the alternation of work and rest. When you work do it as if for God. And when you rest, remember that He has blessed you. ![]()
The question remains how to live a balanced and healthy life as a doctor…
Corine